Office Space

You may say that I'm the last person who should voice an opinion on how an office should be organized, given my propensity to avoid them whenever possible; but I've done my time in both the front and back pews, and my opinion is likely to be just as good as yours. The nexus of my thesis revolves around the idea that people are more productive when they feel at home. That is, where they are most comfortable. It's an outdated concept, I know. The new trend seems to bend towards environments that queue people into sterile, modern, office spaces, where the office spaces are designed by spacial engineers, or -- worse yet -- spacial designers; smart enough folk, if you catch them on a good day, or when they've had a stout glass of wine. Too often they are distracted talents that engineer by look, with little regard for the feel.  (to be continued)

The Watersports Method of Software Delivery

Step 1

Task: Interactive workshop to build out 90% of the client-side functionality and design it in HTML5 using placeholder images/text so that it looks and works to a consensus agreement of the requirements. Programming to be done in real-time as much as possible. For more complex UI tasks an overnight deliverable from DevOps.

Participants:  DevOps, Customer
Time: Approximately 1 week for each 5 screens
Output: Working mock-up of the client-side UX published to a secured/accessible website for all current or future stakeholders

Step 2

Tasks: Reach a consensus on the frameworks and libraries to be used & build a POC of 3 screens based on the consensus
Particpants: DevOps
Time: Approximately 2 weeks
Output: End-to-end design POC of the code and a consensus on how to build the application

Step 3

Task: Assign coding tasks
Particpants: DevOps
Time: 2 days
Output: Do coding assignments and a reach a consensus on who will do what and how long it will take for the go-live (give or take 4 weeks)

Step 4

Tasks: Provide automated tests of all code in green
Participants: DevOps
Time: As long as needed to pass unit tests
Output: Automated Tests at 95%

Step 5

Tasks: QA and/or UAT validation that everything is working per the design. Debug & remediate as needed
Participants: DevOps, Customer
Time: As long as needed for the customers to be happy
Output: Formal sign-off to DevOps from customers via email or IM

Step 6

Tasks: Release to production and validate
Participants: DevOps, Customer
Time: Agreed upon timeline for communications and prod release
Output: Formal sign-off via email that the production release is to spec

SNL Skit - Obama Personally Wiretaps Trump

SNL Skit - Draft 1.0

Obama in White House at desk signing papers. Checks watch, suddenly gets up, yells: "Michelle, I'm heading out to play cards with McConnell. Don't wait up!" Under his breath: "Cheap bastard."

Next scene is Obama kicking back on Air Force One.

Next scene is Obama in solid black Ninja suit sneaking into Trump Tower.  Following is a series of scenes where, while he is personally tapping Trump's phone in his office on the 30th floor, people keep recognizing him and he keeps throwing them off with stories which get more and more outlandish and charming them with Obama charisma.

Finally he steps out of the elevator into the lobby where a crowd has gathered (apparently by word of mouth), all taking selfies and cheering for him. A reporter asks: "What are you doing here Mr. President?"

Obama: "Oh, please. I was just bugging Trump's phone." Crowd laughs and cheers, Obama makes his exit, then pops his head back in the door: "Oh, and please just keep this secret, OK? Peace Out."